*DISCLAIMER* I am not a doctor! Do not try to imitate this without consulting a doctor or health care professional. I did not do this for any performance or sport-related gain. Your experience may not come to the same result as mine so do your research
Tired, Impatient, and slightly discouraged. These reigned over my mentals for the majority of Day 3.
At 5 am I felt like my bladder was stabbing me with sewing needles. I’d been drinking so much water (because that’s ALL I could have) that my body decided it needed to release pronto. Thus began my morning.
By this point, I was tired of water. I had more thoughts of calling it quits early, or sneaking even just one grape from the fridge. Studying was nearly impossible. The Chicago heat felt unbearable. My muscles were twitching, my arms were tingling. I was sweating and exhausted from a 5 am piss.
I was discouraged. “Why am I starving myself anyways?! This is crazy! I’m such a weird-ass for doing this.” I wanted to eat, not because my body NEEDED it, but because my mind was creating a false narrative about what people would think, telling me I’m not really getting anything out of this, asking what’s the point? My Ego was attacking me while my body was at its weakest, and I was giving in.
I had conquered the first two days on my own, with only my willpower to continue. I thought the third day would be the same, but it wasn’t. I was on the verge of running into the kitchen, eating a banana, throwing a pizza in the oven, and flopping down on the couch with a big bag of popcorn.
But something told me otherwise; something told me that I can’t give in that easily. I reached out to a friend and said to him that I was thinking about ending the fast early.
He responded, “If your body is truly telling you it’s time to eat, then eat and know you’ve accomplished what you set out to. If it’s your mind, then breathe and tell yourself it’ll all be ok.”
I did just that. I reminded myself that I am safe. I am loved. And I am supported. I lay back down in the grass and watched the sky. I daydreamed about time travel and watched a caterpillar crawl across my fingers.
I’m not sure where all the angst came from. Maybe because I was subconsciously watching the clock, counting down the hours until my fast was over. In hindsight I should have been more patient, knowing that the discomfort I was feeling would soon come to an end, as all things do.
My last meditation before breaking my fast with a fruit smoothie (which was the best I’ve ever tasted) revolved around gratitude. I thanked God for carrying me through, for the support I received during, and the numerous lessons, healing, and profound thoughts I had along the way.
I was a slave to food before doing this. I ate EVERY TWO HOURS all while thinking about what I’d have for dinner that night. That wastes so much time, so much time I could be using to think of new ways to create, new ways to motivate, new ways to make money or give money. I’m not saying I’m going to eat less. I’ve just gained control over my mind that I didn’t know I lacked, as it pertains to food.
During this fast, I believe I grown an understanding of my mission in life. I’ve expanded my knowledge on how to just “BE”. I grew more love for myself because I am able to better understand me and the areas in which I struggle. And I was reminded of the true GRACE and POWER of God, and my connection to it all.
If you take anything from my experience I’d like it to remind you of your true power. I never would’ve thought I could go 72 hours without eating, but I did it. The mind is a magnificent tool. Also, give yourself time. Take time away from the hustle, from streaming movies, from people, and allow yourself the opportunity to really find the root of YOU.
I’ll post fasting tips, tricks, and quirks in my next blog
Thank you all again so much for joining me on this journey
With All the Love I Am
Tori F. Baby
#Livehappii